How do I know if a book is appropriate?

I focus a lot on appropriateness on this blog.  This isn't about censoring or banning books but about picking the right book for the right kid and making sure that kids are aware of the content that may be in their book.  We often underestimate what our kids can handle and we underestimate what they can learn from books that feature characters with differing values. 

The Young Adult Audience 
The young adult genre is extremely broad.  It covers books that are targeted for 10-14 year olds , books that are targeted for middle school and up and books that are targeted for the high-school/adult crossover audience.  The characters in these books also range in age from 12-20.  Additionally many books that are stocked in the children's section are more difficult reads and enjoyable and appropriate for young teens and many books that are stocked in the Young Adult section are appropriate for younger readers. 

This makes picking a book even more difficult, epically for the younger middle school audience.  Subjects like sex and alcohol and drugs can be handled in drastically different ways.  A princess drinking wine at dinner during the middle ages for example is far different than a modern teenager getting drunk and driving away from a party and laughing off their bad behavior.  This is why the context of this adult behavior needs to be looked at before dismissing a book as too adult or "dirty." 

Should I let my child read what they want?
For the most part I believe that if a child wants to read a book then you let them read it.  If a child finds a specific passage uncomfortable they will either skim or skip the section (this is done quite frequently with romantic sections) or they will put the book down. 

Books are different than movies.  Books are a good place for kids to experience things that they may be uncomfortable with and they picture situations in the way that their imagination lets them as opposed to a directors version on a screen.  Additionally books feature a level of reflection that you do not see in television and film.  Characters reflect upon their decisions and the emotional repercussions are more evident than in film.

Why mention appropriateness at all if kids should be allowed to read anything? 

If parents know what their kids are reading then they can discuss topics that they may find objectionable with them or use the characters behavior as a stepping stone for a big talk.  Talk about decisions that the characters made and how they relate to the values that you hold in your household.

Additionally, if an adult is picking out a book for a child they can make sure that the book fits their level of appropriateness.  It's far different for a child to pick a book that they really want to read that has questionable topics for their age and for an adult to buy or recommend a book for a tween or teen that has questionable content for their age without first warning the child or parent that the book contains those elements.

Appropriateness isn't just about figuring out what is inappropriate, it is also figuring out what type of child is going to most appreciate a book.  Younger readers are less likely to be a fan of books where the romance is the focus.  Likewise a book with a really one dimensional romance or with very young characters is less likely to be a hit with older readers.  Some kids love action and violence while others love happy love stories.  The age of the characters as well as the reading level (in some occasions) and the overall feel of the book are a factor in if a child is going to appreciate a book.  I also try to highlight if a book seems like one that boys will enjoy because the great majority of young adult books are written towards a female audience.